Sacrifices

We all live life together. With our friends and family. Those close ones who we care oh so much about. The ones we make sacrifices for. Sacrifices we make because we feel like they make us better people. Because we think they demonstrate how much we care. Because they'll benefit someone we care about. But there's a limit to these sacrifices, because sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, you have to think of yourself before others. In Theory of Knowledge, we discussed how regardless of what you think your intentions are, they are always based around self-interest. For example, as much as people want to believe they engage in community service in order to help improve the lives of the less fortunate, the reality is that doing community service makes people feel better about themselves because it makes them feel like greater beings. Similarly, sometimes we make sacrifices because we believe it'll make us better people. But the fact of the matter is, if it is regarding something that matters, you're either making a sacrifice because you want to be appreciated or because you value the other person significantly. Yet sometimes, it's really just not worth it. There's a permeable border regarding making sacrifices because often times it's not beneficial to sacrifice your desires for other peoples' satisfaction. I suppose I'm the last one that can be talking since I often times put others before myself to make things work out for them. But it's time I realize that the benefits of sacrificing my happiness isn't worth the opportunity cost. When you start sacrificing yourself for others, you can't discover yourself, you're not making memories, and you're bound to have regrets. Just remember that you have one life to live and you never know what's going to happen next. So stand up for yourself and live it in a way you won't regret; in a way that "what if.." isn't even a question. And most importantly, live for yourself, not for others.

Nothing New You ask?

Why can't I write anymore. Or convince myself to post when I do?

I don't want to be judged.

I shouldn't care.

But I do.

Crap.

Yeah Buddy Rollin Like A Big Shot

Love Language

Prom

So excited for prom. Club Opera. YESS. What's more perfect than shopping for dresses and accessories, seeing guys get creative on how to romantically ask girls, and getting ready with the gals? And of course the pictures and fancy dinner. And that's only the pre-prom fun. So cute. So fun. I wonder how Bruno Mars asked his girl to prom. I bet it was adorable.

Perfection

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe

Perfection. It's what bothers me. It seems to be the ultimate goal. But why? Why spend life chasing after a dream you'll never achieve? The thing is, no one is ever satisfied. There's always something to change, something to cover up, something to get rid of. Have you ever pondered upon the basis of gossip? Good news never spreads for long; it is soon forgotten. However, gossip with negative connotation, such as who embarrassed themselves at a party or cheated on their boyfriend, always seem to spread like wildfire and linger around forever. Why? Why do people focus on the bad? Because it shows imperfection. It shows flaws. It is natural to attempt to find people's shortcomings; it's what people want to see. And even worse, while looking for other's flaws, we hide our own. We don't partake in things we're not the best at, we conceal blemishes with pounds of makeup, and we avoid things that make us feel vulnerable. In my eyes, people who try to hard to be beautiful are just that much less beautiful. It's okay to want to look pretty, but there's a line between trying too hard and looking pretty. It's okay to be seen with just a bit of eyeliner and sweats. It's okay to talk about what you're not good at. It's okay to try new things even if you know you won't be succeed. Sometimes it's not about what you can do, what you like to do, or what you excel at. It's about trying new things to gain new perspectives and experiences, and furthermore, simply to have fun. The best moments of life are when you can just let loose and not care what people think. When you can talk about anything and everything without caring if you'll be judged. Granted, this won't be the case with everyone. But there has to be moments when you c a n j u s t l e t g o. When you can be yourself and don't need a facade. Perfection isn't beautiful, you are.

I Wanna Be Put Back Together and I Wanna Stay That Way

I don't know why. I just really don't understand. Maybe someone can explain this to me. Why every time I feel overly joyous, things go downhill. Especially lately. It's as if I'm on an emotional rollercoaster... An infinite rollercoaster that won't let me off. It's not even as if my weeks have consisted of various moods. It's daily. If I wake up in a good mood, I tend to have a fairly pleasant day till about 3rd block, when things start worsening. However if I get to school in a rush with a trail of bad day symptoms following behind, I tend to have a great day. I don't get it. Is it a crime to be so happy? Maybe it's strange that sometimes I can be so happy and content with life- it feels absolutely amazing. But balancing it out with such melancholy is not worth it. The happier I feel, the worse the breakdown seems to be. To make matters worse, trouble doesn't come alone either. It comes in clusters, making it seem like everything is collapsing. Every aspect of everything. I suddenly find myself feeling discontent and distressed with things that I hadn't even realized were problems, things that I hadn't put a second thought into. I guess I need to get my life together. I want a medium. Things weren't like this before. I miss being whole.