Everybody's Free

Monkey See Monkey Do

"Actions speak louder than words." The cliché phrase frequently used. But really, it's true. People write on your wall all the time "Omg I miss you let's hang!" or "I love youu! :)"— but how many of those people truly mean it? How can they mean it when they say it to every other person? How can they mean it when they only think of you when they physically see you? I know I over-analyze these type of things, but "I miss you" and "I love you" still hold a lot of weight in my eyes. I try to only say what I mean, so I'm careful to believe such things unless I see significance behind the words, especially since "love" is frequently thrown around these days.

This holds true for other things as well. "You know I'm here for you" or "I care about you" don't matter unless one shows it. You can say it all you want, but unless you go out of your way to text and make sure someone is okay, make a surprise visit, take initiative to plan a catch-up day, or bring someone a cute pair of sunglasses to substantiate "I was thinking about you when I was at the mall", those words mean nothing. It really doesn't have to be anything big, just enough to show you mean it. Sometimes, it's just that caring and understanding smile while exchanging glances, that sympathetic and upset look in the midst a distressing story, or the genuine excitement when sharing good news. I bring this up because I've been thinking about the roles of people I consider close. Simply put, life has been stressful with prom, IB exams, college acceptances, graduation, etc looming around, and everyone seems to be having their own issues. Keeping this in mind, I try to be conscious of my actions and provide simple demonstrations of encouragement and affection to ensure others know I'm there for them. Sometimes it's hard. There's a tendency to be bogged down with our own problems and wallow in our own misery. But things can always be worse. Even if it seems like you're laying flat at the ultimate bottom of the Grand Canyon, at least you're not buried alive 500 feet down. It also helps that I'm not the only one— just recently, I've been honestly surprised.

Last week when I returned to my car after teaching religious classes, I was caught off guard by a box of Godiva chocolate and a sweet card on my dashboard. The following week, I was greeted by a cute monkey— a souvenir of a friend's vacation. There was no reason, no occasion, no obligation

involved— just a simple reminder that someone cares. A reminder to smile. Yeah it was just a few trinkets, but it sentimentally was worth more. It reminded me that I have such caring friends. Honestly, that's the best feeling in the world. Knowing how nice and generous people can be. Most of you know I have been applying for many scholarships lately, one of which was based on popularity vote. Well, I didn't win. There was no way I'd be able to get 10,000 votes in a week. However, the whole experience really impacted me. People who I hadn't talked to for years (and when I say years, I mean since like 6th grade) were more than happy to vote. Several people, some close friends and some basically strangers, posted the link on their statuses to further promote the cause. The facilitator even sent an email to all the volunteers, which somehow spread to other khanes— which I found out from friends who claimed they got the forwarded emails from their parents. I was genuinely astonished by how the word spread. People were taking time out of their own busy lives to advocate for me: a girl they didn't even know. Everyone was so encouraging, regardless of my relations with them and honestly, it meant a lot. So yeah I didn't win. But the sense of support and the amazement as votes came in from Canada— that's what brought worthwhile moments of sheer gratitude and happiness. So I'd like to end by thanking everyone who helped, whether you spread the word or simply took a few seconds to vote yourself— I do appreciate it. And for those of you who put your lives on hold to be good friends, just know it is noted and very much appreciated. With one person taking the initiative to ignite a flame for happiness, comfort, and support, warmth will spread as others will inevitably follow.

The God of Small Things

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before and she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect- you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can hurt-her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyse and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” -Bob Marley

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

"D'you know what happens when you hurt people? Ammu said.

"When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less."

A cold moth with unusually dense dorsal tufts landed lightly on Rahel's heart. Where its icy legs touched her, she got goosebumps. Six goosebumps on her careless heart. A little less Ammu loved her. The moth on Rahel's heart spread its velvet wings, and the chill crept into her bones." (107)

"Centuries telescoped into one evanescent moment. History was wrong-footed, caught off guard. Sloughed off like an old snakeskin. Its marks, its scars, its wounds from old wars and the walking-backwards days all fell away. In its absence it left an aura, a palpable shimmering that was as plain to see as the water in a river or the sun in the sky. As plain to feel as the heat on a hot day, or the tug of a fish on a taunt line. So obvious that no one noticed." (169)

"It is after all so easy to shatter a story. To break a chain of thought. To ruin a fragment of a dream being carried around carefully like a piece of porcelain." (181)

"The secret of the Great Stories is that they have no secrets. The Great Stories are the ones you have heard and want to hear again. The ones you can enter anywhere and inhabit comfortably. They don't deceive you with thrills and trick endings. They don't surprise you with the unforeseen. They are as familiar as the house you live in. Or the smell of your lover's skin. You know how they end yet you listen as though you don't. In the way that you know that one day you will die, you live as though you won't. In the Great Stories you know who lives, who dies, who finds love, who doesn't. And yet you want to know again. That is their mystery and their magic." (218)

"Ammu smiled to herself in the dark, thinking how much she loved his arms— the shape and the strength of them, how safe she felt resting in them when actually it was the most dangerous place she could be" (319)

"They had nothing. No future. So they stuck of the small things. They laughed at ant-bites on each other' bottoms. At clumsy caterpillars sliding off the ends of leaves. At overturned beetles that couldn't couldn't right themselves...

Without admitting it to each other or themselves, they linked their fates, their futures (their Love, their Madness, their Hope, their Infinnate Joy). Each time they parted, they extracted only one small promise from each other:

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow." (321)

Please Vote!

Hey guys! I'm applying for a scholarship and first-round elimination is based on popularity! So please help me out and vote for my essay! You can vote from multiple web-browsers (internet explorer, firefox, google chrome, safari, opera, etc.) as well as from your phone. I would greatly appreciate it if you could take a few seconds of your time to vote :)
http://www.wyzant.com/scholarships/v2/essay56599-Kennesaw-GA.aspx

The Senioritis I Don't Have

The epidemic that spreads around and eventually overtakes everyone at least once in their lives. The disease that hinders progression. The one that changes lifestyles. The one that takes control of mind, body, and soul little-by-little until one no longer has the willpower do anything other than what it wants one to. Its influence is so prominent and destructive that some doubt such a thing could exist; they say it's a hoax— an excuse. Others, those currently handicapped, beg to differ. This overbearingly controlling monster is none other than our pal, Senioritis.

While some battle a severe case of STDs (Senior Transmitted Disease), others are more fortunate to only be struck by ASS (Acquired Senior Syndrome). I'm sorry to say but those with STDs are far beyond repair and will not be checking back in anytime soon. Now those with ASS seem to be somewhat curable. Though the condition doesn't seem to fully disappear, the symptoms do dwindle for periods of time— long enough time to knock out a few assessments.

Now the question is, which case do I have? How much drive and motivation am I capable of releasing in these last few months? Well the truth is, it hasn't really hit me yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to be done like everyone else. However, I still have my game on. While many were up late writing the lit paper for Mrs. Smith, the physics IA for Osinski, and the history paper for Dr. Wannamaker, I finished days prior and slept. It's like I'm drawn and addicted to productivity— starting work during free time between classes, going to the IB lab during lunch, etc. Honestly, I love the feeling of being on top of my game. My only hope is that this productivity and motivation doesn't die; the last thing I want is to uncover the burdening news of being positive with the worst possible case of STDs. But for now, Veni, Vidi, Vici.

The Kind of Couples I love

Winnie the Pooh

I may be 17, but I still laughed SO HARD at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui-qx5r9fNw&feature=related

Some things just never get old. Speaking of getting old, I just want to give a quick shout out to my baby brother who just turned 15 last week. Okay okay maybe he's not such a baby anymore. Maybe that's the problem. The fact that he's growing up and changing so fast! Tmth.. Literally! What happened to the days when sitting in the front seat was the biggest deal? Or when I'd put you back to bed after a bad dream? And the days when the best part of Halloween was dumping out all our candy and counting how many pieces we each got? And how could I forget Mario Cart? Now that you're a freshie, I just want you to know that I know you're going to be so successful, and I'm so excited to seeyou grow during the next few years of high school. On that note, I hope you enjoyed your first time snow boarding and you have a fantastic year<3

The Beginning of the End

Winter break is coming to an end, the holiday season is over, and a New Year has arrived. It's a bit sad but a bit exciting at the same time. Completely bittersweet.

First off, I for one LOVE the holiday time. The spirit. The music. The joy. The lights. All the giving. Cuddling. Hazelnut hot chocolate. It's all so adorable. However, with the end of all that is the New Year. There's something exciting about the New Year, aside from the partying of course. Everything feels so.. so fresh. So new. And yeah that's the point. Time to make resolutions and be a "better person". We've all experienced how those resolutions are created with such ambition and soon enough pushed off to the side. Every year my best friend and I make a list of things we want to improve and work on, and vow to help each other accomplish our goals. Unsurprisingly, a month in, our lives basically return back to normal. In reality, a new year feels like a break from the cycle, and thus a time of reflection. Yet this year, I decided to take a new approach to the new year. I boiled the list down to two things. Two things I really want to work on. Two things that I feel will make me more confident and likable.

First off, I want to be more conscious on how I treat others and make them feel. I want to be encouraging, giving, and helpful. A few days ago, we had a "Beginning of the End Party". Aka celebrating the starting of our last semester as seniors. A friend's birthday had just passed a few days prior, and I felt I hadn't done enough for her, especially since she does so much for me. Consequently, I brought a red velvet cake for her and the few others that were early. Not that I'm pointing this out to be pretentious and win brownie points— trust me, that's far from the point. In fact, what I'm trying to say is I considered the gesture small and wasn't expecting much gratitude. However, she was genuinely appreciative, and it was cute how the small amount of thought made her feel so cared for. As the year goes on, I want to make sure those who I care about know it. I feel this has been quite successful so far, especially since I feel so close to my IB family right now, like crazy close. Everyone is going through their own trials and tribulations— whether it be school or family or relationships. And even if the advice may not be helpful or the situation may still be unresolved, we're all going through it together, finding comfort in that simple hug and genuine person available for venting. I know many of you girls have been having a tough past few weeks, and i just want to remind you "you'll turn out fine. Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine. But you gotta keep your head up and you can let your hair down.. I know it's hard, know it's hard to remember sometimes, but you gotta keep your head up" :).

Secondly, as cliche as it is, I want to work on my health. My friend and I have been going to the gym for the past three weeks, and I honestly really enjoy it. Time passes so much faster than at swim and soccer practice. And the light and invincible feeling afterward— totally worth it. Another thing I've noticed about myself is when I work out, I tend to be more conscious about eating well. Yet when I don't work out, I don't care as much and eat worse. Thus, working out is a win win situation!

Now the worst part: back to school. Not gonna lie, several times during this break I've thought about how great it would be to be a normal senior. Showing up to class when I feel like it, getting senioritis, just cruising through the day without much work. The desire is so prominent as I watch others around me with the stress-free lifestyle. Yet at the same time, I'm so glad I followed through with IB. Definitely a life-changing decision that's molded me to be who I am today. I love the spirit and bond we all have. You'd think that with knowing so much work is yet to come, I'd be ready for the last semester to fly by. In a sense I am. I can't wait until college! Especially when I reflect on all the freedom and opportunities. Yet at the same time, I'm not going to spend the semester just waiting for it to end. I want to enjoy myself and embrace the year. It's the last few months everyone will be together, and seeing how wonderful our class is doing with acceptances (already have MIT, Harvard, and University of Chicago acceptances, congrats guys!) we'll be going our separate ways to create our own paths to success. So, as crazy as it may seem, I look forward to struggling through these last few months with everyone's highs and lows. No doubt the next four months will be memorable as we end senior year creating strong bonds and following through with endless shenanigans.