Breaking Through

Many people have trouble with trust— whether it be because they trust too easily or because they have difficulty trusting. It's hard knowing, knowing who to trust, and with what. Sometimes we trust different friends with different aspects of our lives. A friend for boy stories, a friend for family problems, a friend for those embarrassing blonde moments. Isn't it interesting to reflect on who we choose to provide with what information? Trust is about several things. It's about who will keep your tales to themselves. Who will best provide advice and comfort. Who will not judge you. Who could best relate. And sometimes simply who you spend the majority of your time with.

Within the past few days, I've gotten a new perspective on trust. Trust isn't just about who you decide to share your life with, it's more so about who we choose to share our imperfections with. Which is why trust is such a big deal to all of us. Naturally, we want to come off as great, flawless people. We ourselves know this isn't the case, especially since we're so criticizing of ourselves. However, we like to let others believe we are. The more others believe we're flawless, the more confident we feel about ourselves. Thus, letting imperfections break through our shields isn't at the top of our to-do lists. But sometimes, sometimes we can't help but want to seek help. Can't help but want to share our problems. And that's when we're left with the decision of who to trust. Who to let into our inner bubble.

I used to be a person who trusted too easily. Once I felt comfortable, I wasn't the least bit hesitant to share. Recently however, I've learned this shouldn't be the case. It's important to filter and distinguish between those who are close to you and those who aren't. Yet at the same time, just because someone is close to you doesn't mean you're obligated to inform them of all your delights and woes. Likewise, just because you spend a lot of time with someone doesn't mean you have to give him or her a full view of your life. Some relationships are more so based on having fun and spending time together rather than getting personal. From these relationships, I've had to forcefully adjust trust. I've learned it's best to be there for the other person, but to be careful what I share, because there's a difference between who genuinely care and who are simply curious.

Naturally, as you lose touch with some friends and get close to others, the degree of trust you instill in different people will also shift. But it seems that those who you trust most always find a way back into your life. Along with an abundance of trust comes a bit of an attachment, a bond. And these important ones, you'll find them making their ways back into your life. And those that keep coming back, those that care to work for your trust, those that have been there for you over an extended period of time— you know they not only have, but will also take care of, the true trust you leave in their hands.

The Rules

Sacrifices

We all live life together. With our friends and family. Those close ones who we care oh so much about. The ones we make sacrifices for. Sacrifices we make because we feel like they make us better people. Because we think they demonstrate how much we care. Because they'll benefit someone we care about. But there's a limit to these sacrifices, because sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, you have to think of yourself before others. In Theory of Knowledge, we discussed how regardless of what you think your intentions are, they are always based around self-interest. For example, as much as people want to believe they engage in community service in order to help improve the lives of the less fortunate, the reality is that doing community service makes people feel better about themselves because it makes them feel like greater beings. Similarly, sometimes we make sacrifices because we believe it'll make us better people. But the fact of the matter is, if it is regarding something that matters, you're either making a sacrifice because you want to be appreciated or because you value the other person significantly. Yet sometimes, it's really just not worth it. There's a permeable border regarding making sacrifices because often times it's not beneficial to sacrifice your desires for other peoples' satisfaction. I suppose I'm the last one that can be talking since I often times put others before myself to make things work out for them. But it's time I realize that the benefits of sacrificing my happiness isn't worth the opportunity cost. When you start sacrificing yourself for others, you can't discover yourself, you're not making memories, and you're bound to have regrets. Just remember that you have one life to live and you never know what's going to happen next. So stand up for yourself and live it in a way you won't regret; in a way that "what if.." isn't even a question. And most importantly, live for yourself, not for others.

Nothing New You ask?

Why can't I write anymore. Or convince myself to post when I do?

I don't want to be judged.

I shouldn't care.

But I do.

Crap.

Yeah Buddy Rollin Like A Big Shot

Love Language

Prom

So excited for prom. Club Opera. YESS. What's more perfect than shopping for dresses and accessories, seeing guys get creative on how to romantically ask girls, and getting ready with the gals? And of course the pictures and fancy dinner. And that's only the pre-prom fun. So cute. So fun. I wonder how Bruno Mars asked his girl to prom. I bet it was adorable.

Perfection

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe

Perfection. It's what bothers me. It seems to be the ultimate goal. But why? Why spend life chasing after a dream you'll never achieve? The thing is, no one is ever satisfied. There's always something to change, something to cover up, something to get rid of. Have you ever pondered upon the basis of gossip? Good news never spreads for long; it is soon forgotten. However, gossip with negative connotation, such as who embarrassed themselves at a party or cheated on their boyfriend, always seem to spread like wildfire and linger around forever. Why? Why do people focus on the bad? Because it shows imperfection. It shows flaws. It is natural to attempt to find people's shortcomings; it's what people want to see. And even worse, while looking for other's flaws, we hide our own. We don't partake in things we're not the best at, we conceal blemishes with pounds of makeup, and we avoid things that make us feel vulnerable. In my eyes, people who try to hard to be beautiful are just that much less beautiful. It's okay to want to look pretty, but there's a line between trying too hard and looking pretty. It's okay to be seen with just a bit of eyeliner and sweats. It's okay to talk about what you're not good at. It's okay to try new things even if you know you won't be succeed. Sometimes it's not about what you can do, what you like to do, or what you excel at. It's about trying new things to gain new perspectives and experiences, and furthermore, simply to have fun. The best moments of life are when you can just let loose and not care what people think. When you can talk about anything and everything without caring if you'll be judged. Granted, this won't be the case with everyone. But there has to be moments when you c a n j u s t l e t g o. When you can be yourself and don't need a facade. Perfection isn't beautiful, you are.