I don't know why. I just really don't understand. Maybe someone can explain this to me. Why every time I feel overly joyous, things go downhill. Especially lately. It's as if I'm on an emotional rollercoaster... An infinite rollercoaster that won't let me off. It's not even as if my weeks have consisted of various moods. It's daily. If I wake up in a good mood, I tend to have a fairly pleasant day till about 3rd block, when things start worsening. However if I get to school in a rush with a trail of bad day symptoms following behind, I tend to have a great day. I don't get it. Is it a crime to be so happy? Maybe it's strange that sometimes I can be so happy and content with life- it feels absolutely amazing. But balancing it out with such melancholy is not worth it. The happier I feel, the worse the breakdown seems to be. To make matters worse, trouble doesn't come alone either. It comes in clusters, making it seem like everything is collapsing. Every aspect of everything. I suddenly find myself feeling discontent and distressed with things that I hadn't even realized were problems, things that I hadn't put a second thought into. I guess I need to get my life together. I want a medium. Things weren't like this before. I miss being whole.
