I don't know why. I just really don't understand. Maybe someone can explain this to me. Why every time I feel overly joyous, things go downhill. Especially lately. It's as if I'm on an emotional rollercoaster... An infinite rollercoaster that won't let me off. It's not even as if my weeks have consisted of various moods. It's daily. If I wake up in a good mood, I tend to have a fairly pleasant day till about 3rd block, when things start worsening. However if I get to school in a rush with a trail of bad day symptoms following behind, I tend to have a great day. I don't get it. Is it a crime to be so happy? Maybe it's strange that sometimes I can be so happy and content with life- it feels absolutely amazing. But balancing it out with such melancholy is not worth it. The happier I feel, the worse the breakdown seems to be. To make matters worse, trouble doesn't come alone either. It comes in clusters, making it seem like everything is collapsing. Every aspect of everything. I suddenly find myself feeling discontent and distressed with things that I hadn't even realized were problems, things that I hadn't put a second thought into. I guess I need to get my life together. I want a medium. Things weren't like this before. I miss being whole.
i love you baby girl (: and i know that sometimes the best you can do is trudge through this awkward time and trust that there's a solution waiting to be found to everything. i suggest praying and maybe changing up your daily routine. find what makes you the happiest and do it. and when that happiness fades, find what else makes you the happiest and do that too. at the end of the day, there's no promises you'll be absolutely content but that doesn't mean the perfect day isn't coming up. stay strong chica (:
ReplyDeleteseharrrrr, i had no idea! can i tell you a secret? i was always jealous of you cause you are so well put together and i looked up to you and your strength. please, don't give up on your happiness because i know i'm not the only one who appreciates your smile, love, and kind heart. i love you so much and i just want you to know that no matter what i am here for you and i will do my best to be strong with you. i'm ALWAYS here if you want to talk about anything, my ears and heart are always open and listening.
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